Going Against The Family For Love One Is Worth Enough?

Vanshika MahajanAug 9 . 7 min read

Is it worth going against your family for your love? Some will say YES, we can leave, but some will say NO to this question. 

Actually, it depends. Let’s look at how... 

Some of you will never think of going against your family or leaving them for your loved one. Because families are the ones that were there for you in your hardest of times. They are the ones that forgive you for your mistakes and care for you, love you. If you adore your family, you will never have the courage to leave them. 

Some people say that it is worth going against the family if you really love someone. If you know that they are the right one for you and will not leave your side no matter what happens, then go ahead. It also depends on what you think of your family. If you think that your family doesn’t understand you, you can’t talk to them, you know that they will not accept your love no matter what, then, of course, you will go against them.

But let us think for a moment, is this the only solution. If you go against your family and marry the person you love, Are you sure that your marriage will be successful? 

When it comes to relationships, you never know that the first person you fall in love with will end up being the person you will marry. It can be exciting but it comes with disadvantages.

  • Your partner can sometimes be overprotective of you, which you may not like.
  • You can have arguments on little things, maybe due to differences in opinions.
  • Being in a relationship is different from marriage. If you marry at a young age, thinking that you can spend your whole life with that person, then things can get complicated if you both can’t handle serious conflicts.

Marrying your first love is a good idea but if you are not sure then it is a really bad decision to go against your family for that one person. 

Have you ever thought about why divorce happens? The reason is the same- conflicts, fights, not good communication. Divorces can happen at any stage of a marriage, even if you have kids. And the great impact would be on the kids. To see their parents fight every day and separate can have a bad impact on their life. Just a sign on a divorce paper can ruin the whole marriage and can also affect the child’s life. 

Still, divorce also is not a good choice. Many people go for marriage counseling. This is also called couple therapy. It helps couples to resolve their conflict and improve their relationships. This is also an option for those who are having a hard time getting together or are fighting on daily basis but don’t want to get separated in case it will affect their child’s life. This is basically to develop good communication between partners.

Love is not when you are just physically attracted towards a person. It is more than that. Many of you believe that you can fall in love with a person just the first time you look at them and they might be your first love. That’s what we call love at first sight. Looking at someone for the first time you get attracted to them by the way they look, their pretty/handsome face, their looks, etc., but that is not love. And marrying that person against your family can be the worst decision you will ever make. 

Also sometimes people take a good bond between them as love. If you understand the other person, face difficulties with them, be happy about their success, be there when they are not having a good day, and if that person makes you happy, etc, this is what we call a platonic relationship. But this kind of relationship takes a long time to develop. When two people form this kind of bond between them, they become a part of our life. These kinds of relationships are often friendships. 

True Love is more than just physical attraction. It needs time and trust. Understanding each other in their respective situations, giving them appropriate personal space, not asking them to change their behavior or nature, believing in each other. This is true love when you are head over heels for that one person (as we see in movies). Marrying a person like this is really a good choice. 

But in many families love marriage is not considered. Our parents and families know what’s good for us, if they are not allowing you to do something, it does not mean that they are not understanding you, it’s just they don’t want you to get hurt. Then in this situation, it is not a solution to go against them for marrying the person you love. Make them agree, tell them that you would be happy if you will marry him/her, how good they are. Many times children love their parents but are not good at communicating with them. Some things you can do to make your family agree to love marriage are:

  • Spend more quality time with your family. Talk with them about what they want to see in your partner. Take their opinions, try to be more open to them, tell them what you need and how it makes you happy, etc.
  • If your family is finding a partner for you but you want to marry the person of your choice convince them anyhow, try bringing topics of your partner’s education, caste, community, etc. Sometimes they may ignore you but try talking to them on these topics every now and then.
  • Now when you have given them enough hints that you want to marry the person of your choice. Try finding who is on your side. As they will be playing the role of cupid in your love life and convincing others.
  • Try finding someone from your family who can convince everyone or is older than everyone like grandparents or some other relative and try convincing them. There’s a possibility that your family might agree to meet your partner.
  • Once you think they are a little convinced introduce your partner. Give time to your family to understand him. Do give a brief idea of your family members to your partner beforehand.

After you think they are convinced enough and are happy with your partner, you don’t need to fight with them anymore. They just want your happiness. This is a much better solution than leaving or going against your family because you have spent years with them and loved them. It takes time but if you know that your love is true then this is worth enough. It is said that patience is a virtue. So, just hang on in there.

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